“CEO jobs are insanely confrontational, which is not human nature. We don’t like it. We’re not naturally confrontational.” —Frank Slootman
How many times have you heard a leader say something like, “My job is to hire great people and get out of their way”?
Sounds like a great approach, right? You get to be a humble leader who empowers their team. The team gets to be creative and have freedom. You get to be a leader who is respected and loved.
And everyone lives happily ever after because this is a fairy tale.
Of course you need to hire great people. But you can’t get out of their way. The best leaders set the standard and relentlessly reinforce it. Greatness is forged through high expectations and difficult conversations.
There’s a reason that none of us like conflict. It sucks. I’ll tell you a story from a particularly terrible business review. The numbers were bad and the team sounded like sideline reporters analyzing a game rather than players participating in it.
Like any halfway-decent leader, I knew this was my fault. Particularly in this case. This was a team of super smart people who worked their asses off. They were great people who I would enthusiastically rehire every day of the week. Clearly, I had failed them in some way.
My first instinct was to get to the end of the meeting, thank them for their hard work, and go back to my desk to map out what we needed to do to improve the numbers. From there I could work with the individuals who would implement the ideas and stop staring at the depressing metrics.
But I knew in the back of my mind that this would only address the symptom, not the illness. Yes, our numbers would get better, but our level of ownership wouldn’t budge.
So, instead of thanking them, I said, “These numbers stink. And that is not your fault…but it is your problem.” Then I left.
The team delivered. The metrics improved. More importantly, it reinforced that they were accountable for things that they didn’t directly control. They were players, not reporters.
This came with a cost, though. It was uncomfortable and I was unpopular. Some of those high-performers were pissed at me after I left. They felt like they were working extraordinarily hard, and instead of acknowledging and respecting that, I was being a jerk and leaving them with even more work. For anyone who was inspired to think differently about ownership, there was also someone who was angry with me.
I’m OK with that tradeoff. Demanding and supportive starts with demanding.
Everyone worries in advance of a difficult conversation. Everyone’s heart beats a little faster during one. But real leaders do the uncomfortable thing and confront their teams when they see a problem or untapped potential.
I’ve never seen a great leader who is conflict averse. In the NBA, there’s a shorthand for someone that won’t back down from conflict. It’s called “wanting the smoke.” Great leaders don’t just want the smoke. They climb down the chimney.
No one likes confrontation. But mediocrity creeps in when conflict ends. And if you want to be a great leader, that is not your fault…but it is your problem.